By Kirsten Abbiatti
It’s hard for me to know where to start with our family’s story because really, the Lord has been working on both my husband and I for so many years to lead us right where we are. Yet...I hate for you to still be reading this next week so, I will try my best to give you the cliff’s notes version....with only the really awesome details! (because our God is a God of details, and sometimes they are just too cool not to share!)
Bill and I were married in 2003. We adore kiddos and knew they were a part of our future! We had always talked about how cool adoption is and that we thought “some day” we would really like to add to our family that way. But when it came time, we started the old fashioned way! We had our first sweet baby girl in December of 2004. It was not an easy pregnancy or delivery but so worth it!
A couple years later we knew we wanted to add a sibling for our sweet daughter, but we had a really difficult time getting pregnant this time! We began to think maybe this was the Lord closing a door for us, knowing we were willing to add to our family another way. We began researching agencies and found Christian Family Care in Phoenix. Though we learned through their website and information packets that they only do “open adoptions”! WOW! That was a scary term! We had no desire to co-parent! We wanted to be mom and dad! Not share--sounds really Christian like huh!?! Anyway, I am a researcher by nature so I began reading everything I could get my hands on about open vs closed adoption. I wanted to understand how this worked, the logistics, the how and why! Was this best for baby? For us?
And of course, when we ask, the Lord answers! God gave us not only a heart for open adoption but a passion and excitement to move forward with an adoption where we could minister to a birth mom! Where we could speak into her life, love her and show her Christ's love! Of course, about this time, we ended up pregnant! HA! Love God’s sense of humor! And as it goes, 9 months later, (after another pregnancy and delivery for the record books), had a beautiful baby girl! She of course was amazing! But, I remember sitting in the hospital, staring at her gorgeous face thinking, oh my gosh....we are SO not done!!!!
So, we loved every minute of parenting 2 awesome little girls! And about year later felt the tug on our hearts to begin the process to become certified to adopt! We knew we didn't want kiddos really close together, but were told it usually takes a 3-4 months to become licensed and then another year or so to be matched with a birth mom, so this would be perfect, our kiddos would be between 2 and 3 years apart (again, I’m sure God chuckled at my planning!).
After the required classes, paperwork, back ground checks etc, we were certified to adopt in Arizona and submitted our match letter to be presented to birth moms (a match letter is a few pages describing your family. With lots of photos, traditions, favorite activities etc so that a birth mom can get a sense for your family. In an open adoption the birth mom chooses a family for her child, so these give her a place to start).
All of this happened the first week of October 2009. About the 26th of October Bill and I went our to dinner! We talked about how excited we were to add to out family but how we really thought we would be the abnormal case that waited much longer than a year to have a birth mom choose us. I mean really, who would want to place their baby with a family who was already blessed with 2 beautiful girls? We knew it would take the perfect birth mom to really identify with our family! And were willing to wait.
Bill and I were married in 2003. We adore kiddos and knew they were a part of our future! We had always talked about how cool adoption is and that we thought “some day” we would really like to add to our family that way. But when it came time, we started the old fashioned way! We had our first sweet baby girl in December of 2004. It was not an easy pregnancy or delivery but so worth it!
A couple years later we knew we wanted to add a sibling for our sweet daughter, but we had a really difficult time getting pregnant this time! We began to think maybe this was the Lord closing a door for us, knowing we were willing to add to our family another way. We began researching agencies and found Christian Family Care in Phoenix. Though we learned through their website and information packets that they only do “open adoptions”! WOW! That was a scary term! We had no desire to co-parent! We wanted to be mom and dad! Not share--sounds really Christian like huh!?! Anyway, I am a researcher by nature so I began reading everything I could get my hands on about open vs closed adoption. I wanted to understand how this worked, the logistics, the how and why! Was this best for baby? For us?
And of course, when we ask, the Lord answers! God gave us not only a heart for open adoption but a passion and excitement to move forward with an adoption where we could minister to a birth mom! Where we could speak into her life, love her and show her Christ's love! Of course, about this time, we ended up pregnant! HA! Love God’s sense of humor! And as it goes, 9 months later, (after another pregnancy and delivery for the record books), had a beautiful baby girl! She of course was amazing! But, I remember sitting in the hospital, staring at her gorgeous face thinking, oh my gosh....we are SO not done!!!!
So, we loved every minute of parenting 2 awesome little girls! And about year later felt the tug on our hearts to begin the process to become certified to adopt! We knew we didn't want kiddos really close together, but were told it usually takes a 3-4 months to become licensed and then another year or so to be matched with a birth mom, so this would be perfect, our kiddos would be between 2 and 3 years apart (again, I’m sure God chuckled at my planning!).
After the required classes, paperwork, back ground checks etc, we were certified to adopt in Arizona and submitted our match letter to be presented to birth moms (a match letter is a few pages describing your family. With lots of photos, traditions, favorite activities etc so that a birth mom can get a sense for your family. In an open adoption the birth mom chooses a family for her child, so these give her a place to start).
All of this happened the first week of October 2009. About the 26th of October Bill and I went our to dinner! We talked about how excited we were to add to out family but how we really thought we would be the abnormal case that waited much longer than a year to have a birth mom choose us. I mean really, who would want to place their baby with a family who was already blessed with 2 beautiful girls? We knew it would take the perfect birth mom to really identify with our family! And were willing to wait.
5 days later, we are wandering through the grocery store and my phone rings! There is a baby, born two days before and the birth mom wanted to meet us!!! WHAT!!!!! NO WAY!!!
We were not ready! We thought we had time! Our youngest daughter was only 18 months...almost to the day (she had just started walking for goodness sake)! What the heck were we going to do with another baby!!?! After the panic passed.....we said absolutely! We decided weather it made sense of not, God was in control! There were some logistical issues over the next few days, but ultimately we met the birth mom, had a great conversation, (a little awkward but mostly great) and we all decided this was a good fit!!! And we met our son when he was 1 week old! It was so surreal!
Born at 30 weeks, 3lbs 11oz, tiny, fuzzy and had crazy amounts of black hair......and so handsome!!! (Super cool detail: our son was delivered by MY doctor, at the SAME hospital both my girls were delivered at! Only a God of details could orchestrate something that cool!)
He had to stay a few weeks in the NICU due to his prematurity but ultimately did very well! He came home December 5th, 2009 and met his two big sisters. They were so excited!!! They had been praying for him for weeks and now they got to kiss his sweet face. An amazing moment for this momma!!! One I will never forget!
We still have a great relationship with his birth mom! We see her about 3-4 times a year and send her photos often! It is so great to watch her grow and see she is doing well! We are so grateful our son will always know where he comes from. That he is loved and his family was not only chosen by God but also a birth mom who loved him and wanted the best for him! We will always be grateful to her and celebrate the selfless choice she made and the amazing gift she gave us! (and things are no longer awkward! We truly enjoy the relationship we have with her!)
So, we are now the parents of 8, 4 and 3 year old. God has taken our hearts and the love we have for birth parents and brought it full circle again...we are now a foster family! Working hard to love on kiddos who are from hard places hoping and praying to reunite them with their families after healing has been done! God is incredible and it is only with Him and through Him we have been blessed with more than I could ever tell about in a few paragraphs!
If you know us or have questions at all about adoption/foster care/ open adoption etc.... PLEASE feel free to ask! We would love to go into more detail with you! God has stretched us, grown us (and our kids) in awesome ways and we love to share our story, as we know God has orchestrated every detail and it is for His glory!!! It is not without its struggles but worth every moment!
We were not ready! We thought we had time! Our youngest daughter was only 18 months...almost to the day (she had just started walking for goodness sake)! What the heck were we going to do with another baby!!?! After the panic passed.....we said absolutely! We decided weather it made sense of not, God was in control! There were some logistical issues over the next few days, but ultimately we met the birth mom, had a great conversation, (a little awkward but mostly great) and we all decided this was a good fit!!! And we met our son when he was 1 week old! It was so surreal!
Born at 30 weeks, 3lbs 11oz, tiny, fuzzy and had crazy amounts of black hair......and so handsome!!! (Super cool detail: our son was delivered by MY doctor, at the SAME hospital both my girls were delivered at! Only a God of details could orchestrate something that cool!)
He had to stay a few weeks in the NICU due to his prematurity but ultimately did very well! He came home December 5th, 2009 and met his two big sisters. They were so excited!!! They had been praying for him for weeks and now they got to kiss his sweet face. An amazing moment for this momma!!! One I will never forget!
We still have a great relationship with his birth mom! We see her about 3-4 times a year and send her photos often! It is so great to watch her grow and see she is doing well! We are so grateful our son will always know where he comes from. That he is loved and his family was not only chosen by God but also a birth mom who loved him and wanted the best for him! We will always be grateful to her and celebrate the selfless choice she made and the amazing gift she gave us! (and things are no longer awkward! We truly enjoy the relationship we have with her!)
So, we are now the parents of 8, 4 and 3 year old. God has taken our hearts and the love we have for birth parents and brought it full circle again...we are now a foster family! Working hard to love on kiddos who are from hard places hoping and praying to reunite them with their families after healing has been done! God is incredible and it is only with Him and through Him we have been blessed with more than I could ever tell about in a few paragraphs!
If you know us or have questions at all about adoption/foster care/ open adoption etc.... PLEASE feel free to ask! We would love to go into more detail with you! God has stretched us, grown us (and our kids) in awesome ways and we love to share our story, as we know God has orchestrated every detail and it is for His glory!!! It is not without its struggles but worth every moment!
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